Growing up, I was constantly asked the same question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Everyone seemed to expect a confident, polished answer—something neat and certain. For a while, I rotated between wanting to open a little shop, becoming a doctor, or just admitting I had no idea. But the truth? I never really knew. By junior year of high school, when it felt like everyone else had a plan, that question started to feel heavier. I wanted to have clarity. I wanted a direction. But I didn’t—and that uncertainty cast a kind of gray over everything, like I was moving through life in a fog.

 

 

I went through the motions: turning in assignments, showing up to class, smiling through conversations I didn’t feel present in. The pressure to pick a path felt constant.
Deep down, I knew college wasn’t for me—but saying that out loud felt almost wrong, like I was choosing to fall behind. While friends celebrated their next steps, I sat quietly with the feeling that I was somehow failing at life for not knowing mine.

After graduation, that lost feeling didn’t go away. If anything, it got louder. Without school as my structure, the pressure to “figure it out” intensified. I had made the right decision for me—choosing not to go to college—but I still couldn’t shake the doubt. I kept wondering: What now? What am I even doing with my life?

 

That summer became a blur of distractions—late nights with friends, spontaneous plans, anything to keep the uncertainty at arm’s length. But by August, reality hit. Social media was full of classmates moving into dorms, decorating their rooms, and starting new chapters. The doubt came flooding back. I remember texting my sister, overwhelmed. She’s always been the one to remind me: Just start. Even if it’s messy.

So, I did. That encouragement led me to create my first content account, byericajolie, focused on beauty, skincare, and lifestyle. It gave me a spark—a glimpse of what it felt like to create something of my own. For a while, it lit me up.

 

But over time, I realized something important: I was creating content that didn’t truly reflect me. I’ve never been someone deeply passionate about skincare or beauty, and the more I posted, the more disconnected I felt. It was like I was painting with someone else’s colors. Eventually, I slowed down, then stopped altogether. That spark faded, and the fog returned.

Still, there was one thing I always came back to: travel. The thought of discovering new places, seeing life from different perspectives—it made me feel alive. I wasn’t traveling enough at the time to turn it into content, but I held onto that vision. When the new year came, I didn’t make resolutions—I set intentions. Not because I had a perfect plan, but because I had hope. I knew I had potential, even if the full picture wasn’t clear yet.

 

That’s when I decided to start fresh. A new account. A blank canvas. Something I could shape freely, on my own terms. I started small—just stock footage and little experiments—but it built momentum. Not long after, I got invited to walk in New York Fashion Week. Spending a few nights in Manhattan, capturing the experience, pushing past my comfort zone—it brought color back into my life.

 

Then came three weeks in Panama, and that trip changed everything. I finally had content I loved creating—footage I couldn’t wait to edit. Not for likes, not for views, but because it reflected something real. Me. My voice. My perspective.

That trip reignited something in me. It reminded me of why I started—and pushed me to go further. I toured the country from coast to coast—starting in Panama City, then making my way to Punta Chame, Boquete, Bocas del Toro, and finally back to the city. Each stop added a new layer of color to my life. What changed me most wasn’t just the places themselves, but how I felt moving through them—curious, grounded, and fully present. 

 

 

For once, I wasn’t watching other people move forward while I stood still. I was the one moving, creating, exploring. I woke up excited to film—not to chase trends, but because I loved what I was seeing and how I was seeing it. I felt connected—to the world, to new people, and most importantly, to myself.

That’s what changed everything: I stopped feeling like I was behind. I realized I didn’t need a traditional path to build a meaningful life. I just needed to follow what lit me up. Panama reminded me that curiosity is powerful, that passion can be a compass, and that sometimes, getting lost is how you find what matters most.

Since then, I’ve traveled to Florida, California, and Portugal. After getting out of my comfort zone and exploring all kinds of new places, I decided to launch an account rooted in intention, exploration and authenticity: @ericajolielife — an account all about my true passions: travel, lifestyle & wellness.

Lovevook’s philosophy, Color Your Life, resonates deeply with me. It’s more than just adding beauty to the everyday life. It’s about making bold choices even when things feel uncertain. It’s about carving your own path when the road ahead is foggy. It’s about chasing joy—even when you're unsure where it will lead.

 

For me, coloring my life meant taking risks, starting over, and finally leaning into what feels like me.

If I could sit down with the version of myself from a year ago—the girl full of doubt, uncertainty, and fear—I know she’d be proud. She didn’t have it all figured out. But she kept going. And that was enough.

To anyone else who feels lost right now: you don’t need to have every answer. Just take the first step. Let yourself dream. That’s where the color begins.